Avoid “argument traps” and keep your holiday dinner peaceful.
Okay Ladies! You or your husband have schlepped the food home from Safeway and Meijer’s. You or your mother-in-law have been slicing and dicing for days. Recipe books have been poured over. You, or Butterball, have just slaved over a hot stove for the entire weekend. So why is it that sitting down to a holiday meal can end up giving everyone heartburn? This is especially true when – not if – family members have strong differences of opinion about everything from sweet potatoes to politics, not to mention other “hot button” issues.
Avoiding Thanksgiving Arguments
So just how to avoid Brother Billy’s “argument traps,” disagree with Aunt Edna without being disagreeable, and make this holiday one to remember – in a good way? When you hear an opinion that you strongly disagree with you can remain silent (sometimes the best option!) or use one or more of these lines:
1. “I have a different view of the situation.”
2. “Let’s agree to disagree.”
3. “I don’t think this is the time or place to get into a political argument.”
4. “I think we more or less agree on the goals – it’s just our ways of getting there are different.”
5. “Our views probably have more in common than you might think.”
6. “I agree with some of what you say.”
7. “My experience is different than what you describe.”
8. “I’m not coming from the same place as you.”
9. “I see your point.”
10. “I don’t agree with you, but I forgive you anyway.” (with a smile)
2. “Let’s agree to disagree.”
3. “I don’t think this is the time or place to get into a political argument.”
4. “I think we more or less agree on the goals – it’s just our ways of getting there are different.”
5. “Our views probably have more in common than you might think.”
6. “I agree with some of what you say.”
7. “My experience is different than what you describe.”
8. “I’m not coming from the same place as you.”
9. “I see your point.”
10. “I don’t agree with you, but I forgive you anyway.” (with a smile)
Perhaps make the whole table of guests recite the list before conversation begins? Oh, and please pass the Pumpkin Pie. No one will argue about THAT!
Source: Don Gabor, communications consultant, “small talk expert” and author of Speaking Your Mind in 101 Difficult Situations. The New Yorker called Don, “A gifted conversationalist.”
Great tips. I struggle with this. I HATE talking politics but people just can’t help themselves. Even after I express my hesitation they continue to push. It is really hard. I will use some of these…maybe all of them!
Ah, no arguments this Thanksgiving. Just me and my best friend. Usually spend it with her son and his family, but they were just staying home together.
This year was fine , less company. 🙂
I see your point. I use that all the time! Will try the other sayings! Good ones!
We actually went without one this year. It was so nice, lol.
Luckily, we don’t have arguments at Thanksgiving. We make sure to NEVER EVER talk about politics with family.
I try every year to keep my mouth shut with some of my family
I don’t think that will be a problem over the holidays this year lol
My way to avoid the arguments is to just keep my mouth shut or not show up at all lol!!
sounds like a great approach Katherine. Shelley, the Chief Blonde