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Menopausal Quotes and Jokes of the Day–November 2009 Edition

November 15, 2009 By Shelley Zurek 14 Comments

Aren’t you HOT? Some menopausal quotes to make you smile

Menopause

 

I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back sometimes.
I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things:
  • a rainy day
  • the elderly
  • lost luggage
  • tangled Christmas tree lights

After Monday and Tuesday, even the Calendar says WTF!

  “She is a friend of mind. She gather me, man. The pieces I am, she gather them and give them back to me in all the right order. It’s good, you know, when you got a woman who is a friend of your mind.” – — Toni Morrison

 My Aunt Judy says: It was much easier being the mom in the 70’s. I WAS google. And they accepted/believed what I said (as least within earshot). And when I said that they were okay and they should just walk it off, they didn’t check on WebMD.com.

What do you get when you mix PMS with GPS?

A crazy woman who will find you

Two of the greatest qualities in life are: Patience and Wisdom.  The Wisdom is knowing when to be Patient!

However beautiful the strategy, you should occasionally look at the results.”
—Winston Churchill, 
British prime minister
To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
How important it is for us to recognize and celebrate our heroes and she-roes!”
—Maya Angelou,
American poet and memoirist
 
Take no prisoners.  
 
“Remember mate, not all sharks are in the water” – The Pagemaster
 
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” – Eleanor Roosevelt
 
Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
—Oscar Wilde,
Irish writer
‘No arsenal, or no weapon in the arsenals of the world, is as formidable as the will and moral courage of free men and women.’ – Ronald Reagan  
 
Make mine estrogen!
 
Cinderella is living proof that a pair of shoes can change your LIFE!
I don’t have hot flashes, I have short private vacations in tropical-like conditions.
  
Real Women don’t have HOT FLASHES, they have POWER SURGES!

12 Things PMS Stands For:

1. Pass My Shotgun
2. Psychotic Mood Shift
3. Perpetual Munching Spree
4. Puffy Mid-Section
5. People Make me Sick
6. Provide Me with Sweets
7. Pardon My Sobbing
8. Pimples May Surface
9. Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Pack My Stuff
12. Potential Murder Suspect

 Which Menopausal Quote made you smile?
 
Blog Note: Quotes attributed where known–apologies to those who have been omitted!  No compensation was received for this post
still blonde after all these YEARS

 

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Filed Under: menopausal quotes, Menopause, menopause joke, menopause quote Tagged With: Menopause

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  1. Monica McConnell says

    December 15, 2020 at 7:57 pm

    I love this. im 37 and i am already starting my menopause

    Reply
  2. Barrie says

    December 15, 2020 at 12:25 am

    LOL. This is great! I love that instead of having hot flashes, we have private vacations….

    Reply
  3. Rebecca W says

    December 14, 2020 at 7:37 pm

    I’m glad that I don’t have to deal with this yet!

    Reply
  4. Kelly O says

    December 7, 2020 at 1:24 pm

    I am in the midst of menopausal hell. I do not use that word lightly. It amazes me that my mother, and sister, never mentioned how bad it is. I think us women need to shine a light on this. I felt really alone and felt like I was weak. Until I started talking to people. It is hard. For anyone out there feeling alone…you are not.

    Reply
    • Shelley Zurek says

      December 9, 2020 at 11:22 am

      Thanks for sharing your story Kelly. Many ladies feel like YOU!! Seek help from a medical professional as well. You can’t believe all the great things they can do to help you. Shelley, the Chief Blonde

      Reply
  5. Barbara Moga says

    December 7, 2020 at 6:45 am

    I especially like the pass-my-shotgun explanation. My husband would use that, about some other woman. I was a wonderful, compassion-filled, complain-less menapausee. LOL

    Reply
  6. Shannon Gilchrist says

    December 6, 2020 at 8:17 pm

    These are great, lol. Thanks for offering some Sunday night humor!

    Reply
  7. ADARIA Johnson says

    December 6, 2020 at 7:50 pm

    Exactly how I perceive things as well lol

    Reply
  8. B.J. Bernal says

    December 6, 2020 at 7:54 am

    I’m going through the horrible hot flashes now and I now remember when my mom was going through it and she’d be so hot but I would be freezing I definitely had no idea what she was going through. I wouldn’t wish these hot flashes on anyone! Great Quotes!

    Reply
  9. tiffany c says

    December 4, 2020 at 1:11 pm

    puffy mid-section got me LOL 😀

    Reply
  10. Sarah L says

    December 4, 2020 at 1:26 am

    Some good chuckles here. My favorite quote: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” – Eleanor Roosevelt

    Reply
  11. Monica McConnell says

    December 2, 2020 at 11:29 am

    Pardon my sass is another pms lol

    Reply
  12. alisha eiler says

    November 29, 2020 at 4:27 am

    I agree to number 10, don’t mess with me when I have my period.

    Reply
  13. Dana Rodriguez says

    November 28, 2020 at 3:17 pm

    LOL! Great post!

    Reply

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